When you're over thirty and you haven't made it yet, it sometimes feels like your life –– I mean career (which for some of us workaholics is the same thing, really) –– can as well be over. So, I'm 31, and recently, for the first time, I was seriously considering lying about my age to pretend that I'm younger – never thought that this can happen when I was a teenager. Well, I wasn't actually going to lie (it's a sin, you know), but it crossed my mind when I saw yet another application where my unacceptable age meant disqualification.

I'm not the first one writing about this, there were some people before me that turned 30, but since it's the only thing left in my life (I mean – career), I'm going to complain (I mean – rant).

What is it about 30, that it has become an age when you are supposed to have it all figured out (at least in the creative industry)? And not only merely figured out, you are supposed to already achieve something great? Funny story, the night before my 30th birthday I was so stressed I didn't want to fall asleep from sheer fear of waking up "on the other side". Sadly (I mean, luckily), I woke up, the weather sucked, but I did get my complimentary coffee at Starbucks and at least they didn't ask for ID, phew. Jokes aside, I was stressed because I knew that some things won't be possible for me anymore. I missed my opportunities, or the opportunities passed me by and there was no turning back. I will never be 30 under 30, no Young Gun. Should I even keep trying or is it better to just retire ("give up") and focus on gardening? 

Are there any mentorship programs for people who are struggling despite this old age? If you know about any, please DM me. In the meantime, when you have probably already decided that I'm a bitter old lady (and you might be right), I'm still not sure where I stand on the issue of being 100% responsible for your own success versus it being also a matter of circumstances. Can anybody make it (I mean anybody after 30, the young guns still have a chance), if they genuinely want it? Is it only a matter of working hard(er) or is it up to luck and/or privilege?

Wise people say "When life gives you lemons...", but what if nobody wanted that stupid lemonade you made out of them? Or if nobody gave you a recipe or told addresses of nice, rich people to sell that lemonade to (figuratively speaking; also, I know you can google things)? What if you were too shy to convince anyone that your lemonade is actually better, because you added less sugar, hence it's healthier? It might be a little bit bitter too, but whatever.

All that said, I know it's important to support young creatives. I am also sure some people worked harder. Some were definitely smarter. Bolder. Funnier. More confident. Had rich parents (sorry). What I want to find out is if there is any hope for peeps who are late to the party, for whatever reason.

I'm starting an award program (again, figuratively speaking) that will be called "It took you a really, really, REEAALLLLY long time to get here (aka you're late), but you have finally arrived". All good things take time, right? Right? Or is it now only "All good things happen before you turn 30"? Well, that award of mine will be a f*cking (sorry!) lemon.

The application is now open.